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SEC Preview: Top 25 matchups live here
By Chris Pendley | September 19, 2008
Oh, hell yes. This is the kind of week that makes fans pee their pants in excitement. I mean, Georgia at Arizona State is arguably the third-best game on the schedule, and that would’ve been the showcase game back in Week 1. (Of course, that was because we didn’t realize Arizona State was going to lose to UNLV. Fortunately, the rest of the Pac-10 was up for blowing games against the MWC last week, so it’s not like they should eat alone at the kids’ table.)
The only way this week would be any better is if the showcase LSU-Auburn matchup was in Baton Rouge, because drunken LSU fans rampaging across Baton Rouge with ESPN cameras rolling would be the perfect way to end the weekend. Instead, drunken LSU fans will rampage across Baton Rouge without the prying eyes of cameras; that’s probably for everyone’s benefit.
Florida @ Tennessee
What, you want me to find some reason that Tennessee will win this game? You think they actually have a shot now that they’ve somehow managed to sneak Casey Clausen back into Volunteer orange? You should just consider yourself lucky I haven’t gotten alcohol poisoning yet thinking about this game. It’s gonna be bad.
I can only hope that Tebow doesn’t circumcise our linebackers in the middle of the second quarter. Oh, and apparently Percy Harvin is healthy for the first time in years. Eric Berry, you’re our only hope. If you need me, I’ll be over here in the bathtub with a razor. Hey, can you turn the water on?
Georgia @ Arizona State
After the giant egg the Vols laid in Los Angeles, I look forward to spending the rest of the season mocking Pac-10 proponents after Arizona State gets destroyed. And I mean that in a literal sense; expect Georgia to move to a 3-3-5 come the second half out of respect for the then-departed soul of Rudy Carpenter. Hopefully he’ll flip Erickson the bird as he goes for recruiting Weeblies on the line. Of course, I also expect Knowshon Moreno to carve giant holes in the Sun Devils’ front seven.
LSU @ Auburn
If you don’t get hair on your chest from watching this game, then by god you’re not a man. (And if you weren’t a man before reading this post …. Welcome to Fantasy College Blitz! Please stick around.) This is the kind of game that makes Big 10 fans cry themselves to sleep at night, because they can only dream about physical collisions this nasty, running games this punishing, and a final score that might - dare we say - double the MSU / Auburn epic bout from last week. Anybody from either team (including the defenses) that you start makes your roster 15% more manly this week.
South Carolina v. Wofford
Yes, this game is the turd in the punchbowl. We can only assume the Gamecocks will roll here and look halfway decent. We’re not fooled, and neither should you; South Carolina lost to Vanderbilt, and although the Commies aren’t jokes this year, losing to them still qualifies. I mean, I guess you can start Mike Davis if that’s your thing, and Jared Cook would probably be worth a start most weeks anyway - that shouldn’t change against FCS glory like …well, whatever mascot Wofford has. I got nothin’.
Arkansas v. Alabama
This game won’t be as stupidly awesome as the last two years have been. However, we do get our first honest-to-god Mercenary Bowl in a while, although I give Nick Saban way less credit than most. Still, this Arkansas team is approximately terrible, so if you want to see Casey Dick get his skull caved in, this is the game for you. If you need further proof that Arkansas has played approximately Hawai‘i’s 2007 schedule, Casey Dick has a 62.7% completion percentage. That number is too high by, oh, 25 percent. I’d assume Alabama guys would be pretty safe starts here; Arkansas’s like a FCS team.
Ole Miss v. Vanderbilt
This would normally be a Raycom Special if it wasn’t for the above listed game, but instead it will live on as a Raycom Special in our hearts and minds. Had Vanderbilt lost at least one of their games so far, it’d be crappy enough to count; instead, we’re now in the awkward position of hoping that Vanderbilt wins what’s really a winnable game in the SEC. Of course, that would require rooting against the awesomeness that is Houston Nutt, which is a sacrifice I’m not fully prepared to make. And if you’re waiting around to see if I’d recommend starting Chris Nickson: no. I got burned on that last year, not doing that again.
Mississippi State @ Georgia Tech
I’ll just say this: anybody who even thinks about passing in this game better do pushups. I’m not even kidding; MSU is rolling out a Special Olympics guy under center and it’s not like we expect Bobby Johnson to set up a good passing game. So turn back the clock - broadcast this game in black and white and let’s go drink moonshine out of a boot, it’s footbaw time. On the SEC side of things, Anthony Dixon isn’t the worst idea to start, but that’s a reluctant start at best.
Topics: Chris Pendley, College Football, Preview, SEC |
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